He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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