"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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