I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
