You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
