i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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