3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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