why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
