Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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