if i can run in heels then i can drive
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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