I feel like I'm in dance class right now
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize