Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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