the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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