all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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