i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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