ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
