I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
