In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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