put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
