I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
