Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize