You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
