Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
