yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
its liver damage thursday
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
