Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
