We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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