I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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