I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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