I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
