I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
