If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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