Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
