Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
