ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
