i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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