How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
