i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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