I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
