A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
