You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
