my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
