I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
