I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
