I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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