i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
