So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
