What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
