It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
