The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I could fuck to npr.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
