The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
