your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
