i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
