Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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