How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
