ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
