is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
there was a trapeze. enough said
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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