My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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