i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
