but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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