Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
