Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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